Part Six of the Red Story

"He sounds horrible," I said, wondering how someone as sweet as Alex could have looked up to someone who ordered kittens dead. The idea of a human who would do that seemed unreal, even though there were plenty worse in the world.

"Yeah, he was. He's the only person I've ever known who I've really grown to hate. Tommy used to have a gang too, which of course I had to join," he said, his face tightening. "I don't really have to get into detail, but we did some pretty bad stuff." He shut his eyes. "It's over now..." he said quietly, as if he was just reminding himself. He turned even whiter than normal. I panicked a little.

"Hey, Alex, it's okay. I don't really need to know about Tommy. Tell me about... cruising for chicks with John."

"Yeah," he said, rubbing the colour back into his face. "Umm... Well, here's the Diner."

"Oh." I hadn't noticed that we'd already shifted from surburban neighbourhood to city streets. I stepped back so I could see the building in front of us. It was very old and very wooden. Instead of the fifties charm it should have had, it just looked dirty and tactless. I grimaced at the cracked paint over the door that displayed the words: "BOOM Diner" in white, drooping letters. Alex grabbed the doorknob, causing dust to fall from the cracks in the woodwork. An obnoxiously loud bell tinkled as he swung the door open, then we walked into the dark.

We walked through a short tunnel that was as dark as the alcove beneath the stairs, and I lost sight of Alex for a moment. I experienced a weird moment of fear - I couldn't tell where I was, and the tunnel seemed like it was a thousand kilometres long. I fell forward, slamming into Alex's back. "What are you doing?" he said annoyedly, and my face flushed.

We turned a sharp corner and were suddenly bombarded with light, some of it plain, old, white light, and some of it glowing purple neon. Low music was playing, but the chatter was so much louder that I couldn't catch the faintest notion of what it was. The room seemed like it was full of smoke; maybe it was. Most of the people standing around had cigarettes hanging out of their mouths like overgrown teeth, and no hand was without a beer glass. A bright neon orange sign shone the words: "Drink" and the purple sign beside it, which was dull and broken, read: "Up".

"You actually hang out here??" I asked Alex dumbfoundedly. His round, blue eyes smiled at me.

"Yo, Boom!" he called over to the counter. "The front light's out!"

"I know, I know." A man revealed himself from under the counter. At once it struck me that he was missing one eye. His right eye. There was nothing but a bit of marble in its place. The sight of it made me gag a little, but I fought back and struggled to accept it. "Billy is too much of a lazy ass to fix it. Who's your friend?"

Alex pulled me closer to the counter. "This is Labelle. She's hanging with us now."

Whoa. I was "hanging" with them now? By what decree?? Were they... my friends? I barely knew them!

"Not your girlfriend, huh?"

Alex smiled sweetly and shook his head.

"Alright, well, you kids get on over to the back where there's less smoke. You know that stuff's bad for you."

"Yessir. Come, Labelle, let's catch my favourite spot before it fills up with drunks."

I complied without saying anything. I followed him past two loud men who nearly spilled their beer on me, past the juke box (now I could clearly tell that it was blasting some old Rolling Stones hit), and behind the pool table, where there was a row of booths. I listened to the clacking of pool balls for a moment before Alex said, "So what do you think of the place?"

I looked around. Everyone looked much older than us, and scarier. Some were even those tough biker types that nobody messes with. It was not really my idea of a hangout. "It's not really my idea of a hangout... Gosh, Alex, what do you guys see in this place??"

"What, you don't see the charm of smoke, neon lighting, and gangsters?"

I laughed. "You guys are one interesting bunch. I wish I knew people half as interesting as you."

"We don't count as people you know?"

"I met you yesterday! I've never seen you guys around, not even at school."

"Yeah, it's weird that we've never seen you around, neither."

"Well, I don't much time hanging around school, and obviously you guys are in a higher grade."

"Archie's in your grade. You don't have any classes with him?"

"Ohh... I thought he looked familiar. I think he must be in my bio class. And I still haven't spoken to any of the others since last night; that was a bit crazy."

"Did you even know I was there? I slept through it."

"No. Wow, you must be a heavy sleeper, the way John was barkin'."

He grinned, and I noticed that all the hardness was gone from his face, and he was soft and beautiful again. That strange underlying farce I had seen in the softness of his eyes was gone.

"What kind of a girl are you anyway? You don't like the Diner scene, and you're willing to live in a junkyard in the shack of a stupid teenage band?"

"What does liking the Diner having to do with liking the junkyard?"

"Well," he said, leaning over the table, "bad girls like the Diner, and crazy broads like the junkyard." Again I was shocked at how his language betrayed his innocent face.

"I didn't say I didn't like the Diner, exactly... it does have a certain rotten charm. Not the fifties charm I was hoping for, but disgusting, dirty charm. And I'm being honest! I'm not trying to win the 'bad girl' status in your mind."

He grinned even more. I sat there, wondering at the relaxed way I spoke with Alex. I could never have spoken so raw and openly with any other.

"I was only teasing. I was expecting you to announce that you hated both of 'em."

A short, bouncy girl came up to us as loud cheers emanated from the end of the pool game. "Hey, Alex," she said melodically.

"Hey, Tess," he said, slowly refocusing his eyes from me to her. "Bring us two."

"Yessir," she sang, and bounced away.

"Ack!" I said sarcastically. "What are you getting us??"

"Beer," he said simply. I raised my eyebrow.

"I've never drunk one of those in my life. Have you?"

"Yeah, but I usually come with the guys."

I was flabbergasted. "You guys drink?? And all the time??"

"Yeah, we've just always done it. I've never really thought about it. You've really never tried it?"

"I'm fourteen! And gosh, you're only fifteen, aren't you? Isn't it illegal to sell this stuff to us?"

"Well, of course. But ol' Boom makes exception for us."

"What kind of a man would..."

"Hey, Boom is a good friend of ours. He's always protected us from, um, Tommy and his gang." I waited for his face to turn white again, but it didn't. "They're actually banned from this place. They used to be on good terms with him, but now..."

Tess came back balancing two orangey glasses on a tray. I eyed them with slight fear, but also with growing anticipation. All those stories they tell you as a youth couldn't be true, could they? If Alex drank it all the time...

To be continued, dun dun dun...

Part Five of the Red Story

It's four in the mornin' an' I cannooot sleeeep. I must continue my rambling story.

Alex stretched dramatically and tossed the Coke bottle over his shoulder. "Today feels so lazy. What should we do?"

I was surprised. I didn't usually do anything with anyone. "Umm... What do you guys usually do?"

"Well, we hang out at the Boom Diner, or play poker, or pick fights with Tommy's gang, or we try to get into Ned's bar, or we hop in John's car and cruise for chicks," he said, winking in a silly way. "Sometimes we just hang here, in the junkyard, and rummage for cool stuff. We do anything but go home. This shack is my most favourite place in the whole wide world." It amazed me how he could fluctuate between disgustingly adult to blatantly childish with such quickness. First he was reading dirty magazines and looking for girls, then he was digging through garbage and talking about an old shack as if it was his security blanket.

"Who's Tommy?"

"Ehh, let's go to the Diner. I'll tell you about it along the way."

We walked in silence for about two minutes before we stopped so Alex could slip into a convenience store with torn movie posters in the window. He came out holding a fresh bottle of Coke, took a long, dedicated swig, then started to talk.

"It's been about two years since it happened. I mean, we've always fought, but we were so young then, so stupid. I was only thirteen at the time. None of it should have happened.

"By the time Eiji arrived, Tommy was my best friend. He was like the older brother I never had. Boy, looking back, I see how stupid I was. I was always following him and doing whatever he told me. I even drowned another kid's kitten once because he told me to. That's how stupid I was. He would always tell me that I was the coolest kid he had ever met, and that I was his right-hand man, and that I could be the king of the whole city if I wanted to. I believed every bit of it. I even thought that maybe he loved me. I'm so embarrassed by all of it now.

"Tommy was a pretty nasty guy; I mean, John can be mean, but Tommy was mean. He didn't just pick on kids younger than him, but older kids, and adults, and little old ladies, and you-name-it, he had a bone to pick with it."


YES FINALLY I CAN SLEEP. (4:49)
Hurrah.
-zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz-

Can't Sleep...

Ugh. It's three in the morning. I know I should be asleep, but I'm not. I've been lying in bed for almost an hour now, but my mind keeps spinning and spinning...

I feel like a zombie. I can't concentrate on anything, but I can't fall into complete nothingness either. Argargargargargargargh.

This morning I had leftover chicken for breakfast. Then I walked to the dollar store on Royal York to look for a scrapbook. I went with my mom and my new neighbour lady. She tried to get her fifteen-year old son to come, but he was "too shy" apparently. Then we went to a drugstore, but they didn't have one either. Then we walked allllll the way to the Staples on Weston Road. Then I bought one. Then I went home and transcribed the Metric song "The Twist". Then I ate pizza. Then I spent like four hours watching Whose Line and colouring in the sheet music.

That was my day.

Hopefully that will make me fall asleep.

Nope. It didn't work.

Hm, my house has recently become infested with a million bazillion spider babies.

I am lurrvving the Internet so much now. Summer can be so boring. Having fun gets boring after a while. School ended like three weeks ago, and I'm already sick of all the freedom. I'm sick of Wonderland, and I've only gone twice. The only thing I really like is that I can stay up as late as this and not have to worry about surviving school in the morning. I'm also sick of Metro not calling me back.

Boohoohoo. -hugs my lobster-

More time to play Super Mario 64, I guess. I could also finish Majora's Mask but... but... Oh, the memory brings me agony. That Goddammed Stone Tower. The boss battle was just so hard oh, so hard... the time ticked by... ARGH. That fking moon. That fking moon with it's stupid constipated face. It exploded the whole world before I could squish a couple of worms.

I suck at video games. Why do I like them so much.

Oh well. Bon nuit.

HAPPY DOMINION DAY, CANADA!!

Le Jour de la Confédération!!

Hurrah for Canada! -mwah mwah mwah-

Hurrah for the only place where we drink milk out of bags... (I just learned that that was weird)

and where health care beats any number of medals the U.S. can win in the Olympics... (except for the fact that we have like, a million gold medals)

where there doesn't seem to be as many beavers as anyone thinks... (seriously, I've seen like, two in my whole life)

(And moose? I've never seen a moose. Or a caribou. I've seen like five loons. This can't be Canada.)

"Ton histoire est une épopée
Des plus brillants exploits!"

J'aime mon Canada. Ouioui. J'aime le francais aussi.
And to all those people who think it's always cold here, it was fking over 40 degrees last week; it almost flew off my thermometer. They don't make short shorts short enough for that heat.

And there's spiders everywhere, man. (Not really to do with Canada, but with the fact that THERE ARE SPIDERS EVERYWHERE AND I WANT THEM TO DIE).

On another note, the word "Canadian" is really hard to type for some reason.

I'm going to celebrate in the morning by eating, sleeping, and playing Mario 64. (Like I wasn't going to do that anyway.)

Have un bon nuit, and I'm up way too late to be writing dumb shit about Canada.

Part Four of the Red Story

(really long... lol)

Suddenly I did remember being in the park. "I was... 'all bruised up'?"

"Yeah, it was crazy. We didn't know what to do," John said, as Archie looked away uncomfortably. "You sure you're alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"What's your name?"

I paused. "Labelle."

John didn't snicker. "We're really sorry for doing this to you. We can take you home right away."

I shook my head. "Thank you. Thank you so much for doing what you did. It must have seemed crazy at the time, but that's exactly what I would've wanted." They blinked at me in disbelief. "Just... thank you. I'm happy that I made out alright."

John sighed in relief and fell back to his sleeping position. Eiji did the same, though silently. Archie stepped out without saying a word. My eyes got heavy, and I leaned closer into the wall. John was mumbling, "You must have a story... tell me in the morning..."


I woke up painfully. My back ached. I had been sleeping the entire night sitting up against the wall. Looking around, I noticed that I was alone. Since I hadn't gotten many answers the night before, I took it upon myself to get up and find out where I was.

I thought it was curious the fact that I wasn't scared of these boys at all, even though they looked a lot older than me. The oldest one, John, had a face full of stubble and everything. He had black hair that looked too long for his face, and strange, angry-looking dark eyes. He was wearing all leather, even though he had been sleeping, and he seemed kind of scary. The way he had been freaking out the night before contradicted that, I guess. I could picture him as a gang member, still.

The foreign boy, Eiji, had jet-black hair that was naturally spiky, and it stuck out in every direction. He had a solemn, hard-looking face, and faraway, meditative eyes. His skin was very tan, and he was taller than the other boys. He was wearing a white sleeveless shirt and seemed kind of muscular, in a lean sort of way, like a ninja.

The other boy, Archie, was small and strange. His face seemed pudgy and malleable. Freckles danced across his face and especially over his tiny nose. He had a cynical-seeming brow and he looked up from under it like a visor. His hair was brown and fell around his face in layers. His eyes seemed to have the capacity to grow into huge orbs when frightened, but they were usually just normal sized. They were brown with a green tinge, which people who get bored easily usually have.

When I was done coming to terms with what happened the night before, I stretched to ease the pain in my back and stood up. The only light in the room was coming from the single window, so I walked over to it. I looked out, and then my jaw dropped.

... What was this place? There was garbage EVERYWHERE. What else could it be besides a landfill? I opened the door and was cascaded by light. Wow. It was a junkyard. I looked around in surprise. This wasn't their house, was it? I looked back at the door I had come out of. It was attached to a grubby, wooden shack. I saw someone in the distance over the hills of garbage, and froze in fear. If that was the owner of the landfill, I might be in trouble. I was about to run back inside, when the figure started waving their arms. I squinted, but I couldn't tell who it was.

"Labelle! Hey! Labelle!" He were closer now, but I still couldn't see his face. Was he blond? It couldn't be any of the boys I met last night, but he did know my name. It must have been a friend of theirs.

"Hello," I called awkwardly, not knowing what else to say. He finally reached the shack, and paused to catch his breath.

"Hey, glad I caught you before you started wandering around. This place can get dangerous at times. You'd be surprised at what garbage can do to you." He glanced quickly at his arm, and I followed the path of his eyes. There was a long, puffy scar jutting from his elbow to halfway down his forearm. He noticed that I was looking, and repositioned his arm behind his back. I looked away, thinking that he probably regretted shifting his gaze to it.

"Glad to meet you in daylight. My name's Alex. How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine, really. I can't believe I was out for a whole week. I'm not really clear on what happened..."

"Look here," he said, moving closer. He grabbed my wrist and turned my arm belly-up. My eyes opened wide at the gray colour of my skin.

"Ah!" I cried out in a moment of fear. Then I realized it was just a bunch of bruises, and I calmed again. I sort of remembered what happened now... There was a lot of shouting, and throwing, and slapping, but it all blurred together into pain. I shook my head.

"Are you okay?" he asked, and I noticed how round and blue his eyes were, and how close to me he was standing.

"Yes, yes, yes. I'm perfectly fine. You guys don't have to worry about me anymore." I edged away from him a bit, and asked, "Where are the others?"

"Well, Archie and Eiji are in school, and John's probably running round the neighbourhood."

"What day is it today?"

"Tuesday."

"Tuesday... why aren't you in school?" I said, overwhelmed by the passage of time.

"Um, the guys decided I should stay here and watch you. I was just out buying a Coke, that's all," he said, lifting the bottle.

I looked up. The early June sun was directly above us. Noon already? I wondered. How did I manage to sleep so much? I looked over to Alex, but he was gone. After a short moment of panic, I realized that he had walked over to a log near a heap of garbage. Thinking it would be boring to go back inside the shack, I joined him.

"Do you guys live in this junkyard?"

He laughed. "No, of course not. This is our clubhouse, our secret base, our headquarters. Really, it's just an old shack we hang out in to play cards and trade dirty magazines," he said, seeming to not expect a single ounce of shock at what he just mentioned. I gave him a look, but he didn't notice and kept talking. "So, what are you planning to do? Are you going home?"

I shook my head. "That's where this happened." I pointed to my arms.

"You know, it was much worse a week ago. It made Archie sick."

"Yeah, I don't remember much from last week. All I know is that I can't go back."

"That was strange, what happened. We were all there, just freaking out, and Ainsley had to call the police, for God's sake. Oh, Ainsley is John's little brother. He's only seven years old, and he's the only one who tried to take control of the situation. It's usually John who does that, but he was paralyzed. He was just like, 'No! Stop it, you stupid brat, stop!' We were standing there all like, 'What the hell, John?' And then he was like, 'No, no, we can't. Look at her. We have to take her'. We were all standing there like, 'wtf,' right? But when John takes control, he really takes control, and we all can't help but to listen to him. So we took you here. It was a real insane situation. I hope you don't hold it against us, but John was having a real weird moment, yeah?"

"No, no, no, I'm glad you did what you did. I mean, it makes sense to take me to the hospital or something, but I don't really care about sensibility right now. I don't care how hurt I was, even though I'm pretty sure it wasn't as bad as you guys make it seem, but I'm glad you picked me up instead of the police."

He looked thoughtful. "I don't want to be a bugger, but... Are you comfortable to tell me what happened?"

"Maybe, but not now. I'll tell it when everyone is here, that way I won't have to repeat it."

He nodded and opened his Coke. I couldn't stop my eyes from trailing down to his scar again. He smiled wanly. "I'll tell my story sometime too."

We watched the seagulls pick through the trash for a few minutes, feeling the breeze. He didn't seem to be paying attention to me, so I took the opportunity to look at him. His hair was straight, and so blond it was nearly white. His skin was pale, too, making him look like a ghost. He wore very dark, plain clothes, creating a strong contrast. His skin looked soft, and I thought he was good-looking. His eyes looked soft too, but deceivingly so. Suddenly, he turned to me.

"What are you going to do? Become a hobo and explore the country, accepting rides from whomever's willing?"

"I... don't know. Get a job... find a place to stay."

"Not the sort to accept freebies, then? How old are you?"

I thought it was strange the way he wasn't really surprised by my answer. I almost meant it as a joke, but I guess I didn't really like my other options. "Fourteen. But don't worry, I can manage."

He grinned. "I should probably be telling you that this is a really stupid idea, shouldn't I?"

"Yeah, you should."

"I should tell you to get help, and to go to the police, shouldn't I?"

"Yep. You can do that if you feel you must."

"I have a better idea. My uncle owns a place down the block. He needs another hand, but he's been counting on me to network for him since he can't afford to place a wanted ad. I could definitely hook you up," he said, winking. I would have been overwhelmed by the sweetness of the way he moved his face while he spoke, if I hadn't been so overwhelmed by the prospect of my plan working out well.

"Oh, that's fantastic!" But then I remembered something else. "But where will I stay? I doubt I could afford an apartment."

Alex smiled and opened his arms.

"A junkyard?" I said sarcastically. "That's not really my idea of a home."

"It's free, isn't it? It's pretty safe too. No one comes around here besides us Bats."

"'Bats'? Is that the name of your gang??"

He laughed. "No, it's the name of our band. I don't know how we're gonna get everything into this one little shack." The shack was about 2 by 3 metres. I completely agreed with him. He was suddenly squinting into the distance. There was someone walking towards us. "Ah, looks like he left school early."

Soon, Eiji was standing in front of us. He said, "Where is John?" though he pronounced it more like "Joan".

"Iunno, I haven't seen him. He's probably just wandering around," Alex said, swigging the last drop of his Coke.

"Ugh, I hope he not at bar again. Last time, he was kicked."

"You mean 'kicked out,'" Alex said absentmindedly.

"What would he be doing at a bar? How old is he?" I asked, snickering, but still slightly appalled.

"He's seventeen. He has a crappy fake ID that every bouncer sees right through. He'll never learn."

Eiji looked at the log for a moment as if considering sitting with us, but then he turned away. "Bye," he said shortly, as he walked back over the garbage hill he came from.

"That was strange," I said after he was gone.

"Yeah... me and Eiji don't get along so well. I'm not sure why."

"He didn't seem like he hated you, or anything."

"Nah, but... Well, nah. I dunno."

"He seems kinda... uptight."

"He only seems that way. When he's with John, he really opens up. He's really more like Michelangelo than Master Splinter."

"Wow, I never would have guessed." I was happy with how comfortable I felt with Alex, and how comfortable he felt with me, even though we had just met. His absentminded way of just hanging out made me feel very calm.


To be continued, dun dun dun...
lol I love how this is not dramatic at all, it's just me rambling about a bunch of guys I think are cool. =p

Part Three of the Red Story

The voices got louder, then became less jovial and more panicked. There was a swirl of colour, then there were faces all around me. They looked scared and confused. There was more noise, a few shouts of fear, and I forget after that.

I woke up on a cold, hard floor. I groaned and rubbed my forehead. I couldn't see anything. I heard a gasp from beside me, then a rustling.

"John! ... John! John, get over here!"

I covered my ears to the noise, but it didn't help. His voice rang through my ears and into my brain. My head tingled and burned. There was more rustling, and more movement, and I assumed that "John" was in the room.

"John, she's awake!"

"Jesus, Archie, you couldn't find a blanket or nothing?"

"I'm sorry, John. There was no one home, and I ain't got any money."

"Ugh, it's alright Archie, save it. I'll take care of it. Ainsley, run home and get a blanket. Alex is gonna stand watch while I go see if they're still out there," John said, then left without any parting words. Archie sat down beside me and stuffed his face into his hands.

"Eiji, this is crazy. What are we getting ourselves into? We could get into a lot of trouble for this. We shouldn't have done it."

I looked over at whoever he was talking to, my hands still over my ears. A tall, lean looking boy was sitting at the opposite end of the room, his back to us. He didn't answer Archie. I took the time during the silence that followed to look around. It looked like a treehouse; the room was empty, the walls were brown, the floor was wooden, and a small window allowed a string of light to filter across Eiji's back. After about fifteen minutes, he replied in a thick, foreign accent,

"It will be fine. John knows what he doing".

"Gosh, I really hope so," Archie said, lifting up his head. He looked at me, then quickly looked away. "I've never seen anything like this before..."

"Shh," he said quietly, and not rudely.

I was just beginning to realize I was alive at this point, since the past week had been like a dream. Tears began to flow down my cheeks and pain began to surface on my body. It was like I had been numb, or mummified until this moment. Memories resurfaced and I remembered why I was in pain. I could see Archie's eyes go wide in my peripheral.

"Eiji..." he stammered, and shifted away from me. Now I could feel the blood pulsing through my veins and hear the beating of my heart. "Eiji, this doesn't make any sense. We shouldn't have... Why did we..."

Eiji shushed him again and slowly moved over to us. I could vaguely see his oriental face throught the blur of my tears. I suddenly felt the warmth of his hand on mine. "It okay," he said, "John be back soon with blanket. Then you be warm." Hearing that made me realize I was very, very cold. I thought maybe I would feel better if I had a blanket. I relaxed and drifted off again to the sound of Archie's sobs.

The next time I opened my eyes, I was warm. Archie was still beside me, but now he was sprawled out on the floor, asleep. It was dark, but I could see many other shapes in the room with me. I wanted to call out to them, but I was afraid. I nudged Archie with my elbow. When he didn't move, I dared to sit up. I was surprised that I felt no pain, as I leaned over and pushed the body beside me.

"Hunh?" the shape mumbled. "What is it, John?"

"It's me," I said quietly. "What's going on?"

The shape paused, then pulled out a flashlight. I shielded my eyes from the glow. "Oh my God, holy shit. John!" he shouted, "John, wake up!"

There were more muffled noises among the room, and in a few moments, two other figures were sitting in front of me along with Archie.

"Holy shit, you're awake! Oh, I'm so glad. I'm just so glad." I think it was John who was speaking, from his voice, but I had never seen his face before. Who were these boys, and why were they so concerned about me? Where was I, anyway?

"Where am I?" I asked, looking at Archie, the most familiar face.

"You're here... with us."

John was biting his lip, and the other figure Eiji, looked calm and ready to explain. From what I'd heard, though, I didn't think he knew enough words to explain.

"Could I get a better explanation than that?" I wanted to sound more forceful, but I was so tired and my head ached. I looked across their faces, which were void of thought. They seemed overwhelmed.

"You were in the park," Eiji said slowly, "then we came. One week."

"Yeah," John said, shaking himself out, "You've been out for a week. Are you okay?"

"Well, I feel pretty okay." I pulled the blanket up to my neck and leaned against the wall. "What's going on?" I said, feeling like a broken record. John sighed and shut his eyes.

"We found you in the park. We didn't know what to do, so we called the police. But then..." He looked at Archie, as if asking him to explain the rest.

"Don't look at me, John, I have no idea what happened. You spazzed out."

"Well... I... I felt somethin'. Like a premonition. I didn't wanna give you up to them cops, even though you were all bruised up, and I probably ought've. But after we took you, we couldn't just give ourselves up. So we left you here. This is the stupidest thing I've ever done." He rubbed his temples, and then put his face into his hands. A long moment passed before he rose it again to look at me. "I'm real sorry. We're just so lucky you're alright. I have no idea what I was thinking."


To be continued, dun dun dun...

Super Mario 64!

Greetings, multitude of the planet. Guess what I just got. That's right. Super Mario 64. YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! The cover is all scratched up, and someone drew a smiley face on it, but that's my own fault for not buying it ten years ago. On the other hand, back then I didn't have much knowledge about what stuff was available to me in the world.

Oh my goodness. I must be the lamest person in the universe, but I think this game is really hard. It's so frustrating! I keep falling down, and there's so many things I have to do over and over and over again because I keep messing up. I always leave feeling annoyed. But that's just because I suck.

I really like the Bowser dungeon areas, where it's like a crazy obstacle course. Of course I have to repeat it like fifty times to finish it, but I get really good at the route and stuff when I do it that many times. It's kind of like a memory workout. It feels soo good when I finally do get a star. It's so satisfying. And I'm not cheating at all for this! I'm figuring it all out by myself. Which I never do. I can't believe I cheated in the Water Temple in Ocarina of Time. -regrets-

What's up with the lives though? Once I went through a dungeon level so many times that I got 35 lives, and then when I played again it was back to four. That's so lame. I should have been rewarded for all that hard work. -crycrycry-

I get so worked up when I play, too. I usually find myself yelling at Mario, as if it's his fault instead of mine. "NO! I SAID JUMP LEFT, YOU IDIOT! GAAAAAAAAAAH. NUUUU!!". Yes, that's exactly what happens. Now I wants Super Mario Galaxy! :3

And I can't believe I sold Super Mario Sunshine!! Why did I do that? It was so colourful and fun.

Some day, some day...

Part Two of the Red Story

Hmm... Discount all that Internet nonsense in the first part. Shit just got real, yo.

I'm not saying that I don't trust John. He's like an older brother to me. It's just that... something in his toothy grin often tells me that he just wants to see our reactions to his crazy stories. He does know when to be serious, you can really tell when he isn't joking anymore. I think that he likes to think we're really close, but we aren't. I think he wants some kind of support through me just 'cause both our mothers are dead.

I don't know anything about Alex, besides him being John's neighbour. He's light-haired and light-hearted, but he keeps to his own business. Archie says that Alex must have a double life, since he's exploding with emotion and ideas, but he doesn't share any of it with us.

Archie is my best friend. We've always been together. He's the sort to give you a smile that he hopes is comforting, but is so easy to see through. Even though we've been together for so long, I still don't feel like I really know him. Especially since he's been disappearing every Saturday for the last month. That was the day we usually met for sundaes at the Boom Diner. Ugh... I really miss him.

I never knew real love before I started hanging out with John and his friends. They found me on the last day of the darkness. I had begun counting the dark days when my mother died, and at first I didn't realize that they were over. I was under a park bench, nursing my inner wounds and ignoring my outer ones, feeling the rain and generally not caring about anything. Things were probably much worse than I remember. John describes it to me with much more graphic detail. Honestly, I'm just piecing together what the others have told me. That entire day was pretty hazy. I don't even remember how I got under that bench. I may be over- or under- exaggerating, but John says that I was dying.

Anyways, I suddenly heard voices. They were far away and faint. One of the voices was kicking a can across the sidewalk. There were loud jokes and loud laughter. I thought vaguely that they were drunk.


I have to go work on my dumb Star Wars Lego stop motion movie. Yeah. Maybe I'll continue later! I hope so!

Stuff.

I don't know why I'm so worried.

I was just recently so very worried about not being able to make friends in the future, because of my anti-social behaviour. But then today, I went to a BBQ, and I realized how little interest I had in the people around me. I wanted to watch them, but I didn't want to answer their questions about how old I was and what grade I was in. I didn't want them to ask me what I was reading. I wanted them to leave me alone, no matter how friendly and how good their intentions were.

Maybe it's just because their questions were so annoying and generic. Maybe I'd prefer talking to people my own age just because they wouldn't feel the need to look down on me. I don't know. I have a feeling that college will be amazing though. I can't wait.

=)

Part One of the Red Story

I abandoned my current story and started a new one. Sheesh. Maybe I'll work on it again when I feel gloomy. This new one is happier, and I need to say right now that I have recently re-immersed myself into The Outsiders, so any similarities are not coincidences. Actually, most of what I've written so far seems more like rambling rather than a story... o_O ... Whatever. Let's go.

Greetings. I'm writing this book because I have a story to tell. I think it was Stephen King who said, "These days everyone seems to want to write, but they have nothing to say". I may have nothing to say, but damn, I have a story to tell.

There's one thing you should know about me. I'm boring. I'm nothing. I don't understand why I have friends at all. I must be a novelty or something. I don't know why they saved me. I don't know why they love me.

My story revolves around a group of kids who occasionally call themselves The Bats. Shut your mouth, though. The last time John caught someone laughing at him, they had an ear off in a moment. That's the story he told us anyways. John is kind of the leader of the group, he's like an older brother to most of us. We're supposed to believe everything he says; not like anyone would dare disagree.

The Bats is John's garage band. It's made up of him, his younger brother Ainsley, his best friend Eiji, and his neighbour Alex. Me, Archie, and some of the other kids try to help out sometimes, but we usually get chased out with cusses. Even though we can't play very well, me and Archie always dream about joining the band someday.

John really likes to act tough. Sometimes I think he imagines that The Bats is actually the name of his gang instead of his cheesy garage band. He's nineteen, and the neighbourhood bully. Of course, me and Archie are exempt from his treacherous games, but there's no way we could ever stand up to him. He'd take our ears off.

Ainsley does not talk. Period. John says he used to talk, before their mother died, and that also he'd slap him into shape someday. I'm not sure I believe him. When I look into Ainsley's large, dark eyes, I see nothing but a silent bassist. I can't imagine a single word having ever left his fragile lips.

Eiji is John's best friend. When he first came from Japan four years ago, John shouted a loud cuss, thinking that he spoke no English. Eiji paused, turned, and pounced on him. They fought for nearly twenty minutes before a crossing guard finally broke it up. They stood, smiled, and shook hands. They had earned each other's respect. I know it's true because Eiji told me.


Well, now it's time for bed. Since I've started, the plot, era, tone, and protagonist have changed at least three times, lol. I wish I knew what on earth I was writing about. We'll see, I guess...

woot.

...job...job...JOB...JOBJOBJOBJOBJOBJOJBOBJOBJOJBOBJOOOOOOOB!

Yes. I have un job.

Well, I may be jumping to conclusions.

My friend's neighbour is gonna get me in to Metro. She's been working there for fifteen years, so obviously she has some influence. They're not accepting anyone for just the summer, so it'll be awesome when they see I wanna stay forever!
Dropping IB is allowing me to do this. Hurrah. I'd much rather have money to buy stuff I like and do fun things!
Grr, I'm still worried about being able to make friends in academic. It takes too much work to be fun and interesting. I'd much rather just go to sleep. =(

Zelda Music - Song of Storms

I think the Song of Storms is my most favourite song EVAR!!1!

It goes around and around and around and around and around...

Okay, I'm just stalling; I have no idea what to say about this one.
I mean... it goes around and around. I have a vague memory about some YouTube video, of a girl watching this guy:
while singing, "Fuck-a-box! Fuck-a-box! I just love to fuck-a-box!!"
And that's all I think of when I hear that song now.
Well, of course we can go with the power over nature thing from the Sun's Song. I kind of feel like they just randomly added this song to make the amount of temple songs and extra songs the same number... but it is my favourite song.

Actually... (I'm suddenly able to think of something)... Isn't this song about anger? Every time you hear it, that box-fucking guy is really pissed off. First he's like, "Why is the windmill spinning so fast? WHAT'S HAPPENING?!?" then the second time, he's like, "ERG, seven years ago, this stupid jerk kid played a song that made the windmill crazy!!" then he's like, "AAGH YOU MADE THE WINDMILL CRAZY!!!". Even when he appears in Majora's Mask, he's like flipping out about how he stole a dog's mask and now he's so guilty. He's like, "I STOLE IT I STOLE IT!!"

In conclusion...
why am I still doing this?

Pictures - The Fratellis

The Fratellis! What a wonderful, wonky band! Every single one of their songs is about a certain girl. I found that while I listen to them, I always have a very clear picture of a girl in my head, so I decided to draw them one day.

The first girl doesn't have a specific name, but she is who I picture when I listen to "Look Out Sunshine!". She is shy, but kind of mischievous. The prominent line in this song is "No one gets you anymore," which is really quite sad. She's very lonely. She used to have friends, but they all changed, or moved away, or went on drug binges...

Sad. Ironic, since the song sounds happy.

The second girl is Chelsea Daggers. She's a ho! The most memorable line in this song, for me is "You must be a girl with shoes like that / She said 'you know me well'". This is directly pointing to her skankiness, because she is a whore. That is enough.

The third girl is Mistress Mabel, "all the kids agree / you're unstable, curious and free". She is fun and crazy and whatnot. And that's the end of it! I wanted her to seem like one of those types who will say the most wrong thing at any moment, and then just giggle and no one will care. Yep. Yepperoo. Yep-o-doodle.

Pictures - Cazzi and The Queen

Čazzi is a happy character. She is just really, really, happy. She knows how to be in tune with her childish side and to find beauty in everything! You must think I really like fairies. Maybe I do. There is a downside though... she's pretty stupid. She will follow anyone with authority. This picture shows her bowing down to the Queen of the Fairies. (This is not in the same world as Lucida, mind you). The Queen is only human, she generally does her best to rule the forest, but... one day, one of the more powerful demons from the southern wasteland took over the kingdom, and actually pitted Čazzi against Xoddy, her best friend! Oh noes!
Doing all this makes me want to write about these characters again. Boo-hoo.

Pictures - Xoddy

Xoddy. She is the embodiment of a normal person. She is simple, yet complex, does nothing, but possesses the power to do amazing things. In her story, "Shrine of Winds," she goes to an alternate world (of course) called Kayden. There, she is burdened with the task of saving the world. This picture represents, again, the duality of the world. See, what happened in the story is that she was transformed into a crow by a witch, and when she was turned back human by the elves, the wings stayed behind. This is symbolic of the scars pain experienced in life can create. Though she grew from it, and gained knew strength, it was still painful. She sees herself as a disgusting crow, full of flaws, and she is jealous of the butterfly, colourful and full of life and beauty. She does not realize that she is a combination of both, as is everyone else in the world.

Pictures - Lucida

Lucida: Queen of Fairies. She is a character from my full length story "Lucida's Wood". Someday I'll find a way to post it.

She does more than love nature, she IS nature. In the story, she is sick and dying, which in turn causes the forest to do the same. She is calling and searching for her reincarnation, by stretching time so that her spirit exists beyond the time of her death. The sad thing is that the only way she can think of to bring her reincarnation to the forest is by killing off her relatives. She is presented in the story as a villain, yet ironically a figure of peace and life though she brings death to many.

She is arrogant, yet humble. She is everything. She represents the duality of the world. Her paradoxical love/hate relationship with the humans reflects this as well. She loves them, but she kills them to save the rest of her world.

Drawing

Holy shit I love to draw. I'm not even good at it. It just makes me feel so damn peaceful and happy to be shading in a shape. Drawing makes me feel so calm when I'm upset or angry. I love doing it. Well, the only thing I like to draw really is girls. Which is weird, but whatever. Whatever I like, you know? Who cares.

lol... let it commence.

The 80's

Guess who's just fallen in love with the 80's? Oh my gosh, what an amazing time! I used to be in love with the 60's, but now this is something...

This is a time when everyone was friends with everyone! People would just hang out outside their houses and chill with their stereos on. You could wear whatever you wanted, and the weirder it was the more "original" and "creative" you were. Everybody was just chilling. Everybody was just being themselves. Everyone had someone to hang out with, everyone was one of the crowd.

Well, I don't know myself, obviously, but from what I've heard... it's totally awesome.

And the music! I've been going crazy with "Take On Me" and "You Spin Me Round" and "Relax" and Rick Astley. Hahahaha. The 80's were great. I wish I grew up in that time period. Everything is so boring around here. Everyone is blaming and fighting and we keep trying to define ourselves... but we can't. What a weird time to be living in.

Zelda Music - Zelda's Lullaby

This is one of the most memorable songs of the game, as even people who don't spend all day writing about why it's awesome will know. It is Zelda's song, clearly, and it plays whenever you're near her.

This song is about discovery. The first time you hear it, you are in the courtyard, meeting "The Princess of Destiny". She is telling you the fate of the world. She is showing you the evil force you must defeat. She is beautiful, and you don't know what to say to her. You don't know if you're supposed to fall in love with her or keep your distance.

Similarly, it is a song about growing up. It plays as Zelda tells you about her foolish youth. It represents the carefree, naive nature of children, while also signifying a right of passage. While Link still has a childish mind, the rest of the people he knew have actually grown up. I think this is why Majora's Mask is so important - it gives Link a chance to actually grow and develop into an adult. I wish there could be a threequel to that. As Impa says, "I played this song for her when the Princess was only a baby" it really does show the passage of time from childhood to adulthood.

In conclusion, this song is about growing up and experiencing pain to gain a rite of passage, and the discoveries you make in your youth to reach that point. Just look at that childish, naive face!

Zelda Music - Epona's Song

It seems like every song in Zelda belongs to one of the characters. I guess the Sun's Song could belong to nature itself, or maybe even the Composer Brothers. It's strange, it seems like this song doesn't belong to Epona, but more to Malon, especially considering that her mother wrote it, probably way before Epona was born. Okay, I'm not gonna ask this video game to make sense, but I have to establish some ground before I can start analyzing this. I'm gonna say that Malon's mother wrote this for her, and it's just a coincidence that Epona likes it. Yeah.

The first element of this song is loneliness, which is probably its biggest theme. Malon lost her mother, probably when she was very young, since she is only ten years old when you meet her. All she has is her fat, do-nothing, lazy, Mario look-a-like father, and that Ingo who only bosses her around. She spends all day talking to horses and cows, which is pretty depressing, when you think of her situation. Especially when she grows up! She sneaks out at night just to sing her song since Ingo forbade her from singing it because he hates it so much. There is such a complex family situation here that I can't really understand what's going on, or what I'm supposed to think. I don't really know why Ingo hates that song. Maybe because it embodies loneliness, and hearing that reveals too much about himself, and why he turned to Ganondorf. He turned because he was jealous of Malon and Talon's relationship, and he is almost jusitfied, because he really did do all the work around the ranch, and Talon was always sleeping and playing with chickens.

But I digress.

Malon is the type of reads a lot of romance novels because she is missing something in her life. So, we've already established that she's lonely, because of the loss of her mother, but as she gets older, she's yearning for something else. A man, of course! Even as a kid, she flirts with Link. She's always standing around the Market, waiting for someone to talk to her. Or she's in the field, singing to herself, because it's the only thing that makes her feel like there's someone near her.

The second element of this song is friendship. Link is probably the only friend Malon ever made. This song is also what ties Link to his horse, which is the only character who really stands by his side throughout the entire game. Epona's Song is what drives Link to save both her and Malon, and Talon, and Ingo all at the same time. It is a peaceful beckoning to loyalty and courage.

In conclusion, this song is very lonely and depressing, but it gives you hope in knowing that someday there will be someone by your side who is willing to be your knight and rescue you. =)

Zelda Music - Sun's Song

Continuing on with a series for once? Damn straight, I am!

The "Sun's Song" is wonderful. It turns night to day and day to night, and it can freeze scary monsters that want to rape your face.

What could be cooler than that?

The Sun's Song is amazing because it gives you a sense of power over nature, which is something that makes mankind jizz itself. Besides that, being with nature gives us a sense of spirituality, whether we believe that it comes from a deity or not. I personally believe that not believing in gods can give you a greater connection with nature, since it becomes a non-human connection, considering the fact that all gods have very human qualities (well durr, they were invented by humans).

Anywho, the feeling that you have such a strong connection with the earth that you can pull the friggin' sun from the sky, is a very empowering, wonderful feeling.

On the other hand, the Sun's Song brings feelings of safety, comfort, and relief, since it is this melody that can freeze Redeads, and stop that infernal moaning and staring and zombie-looking terror. When I was a little kid, you have no idea how reassuring that song was. When I first got it, after falling down a frickin' grave and fighting vampire bats and zombies and acid with souls coming out of it and ghosts that threatened me with conductor batons... The Sun's Song came to my bloody rescue. It was that feeling of peace that comes with every sunrise, and the terror and fear that comes with every sunset.

In conclusion, this song embodies man's natural fear and joy that comes with the passing of days and nights, and embellishes the comforting familiarity of the sun in our lives.

Holy cow, I really do sound like a freak. I am taking this way too far. And I love it.

More On Writing

Sometimes I think there really must be another world. I can simply feel it. After it's rained, huge clouds moving by... I can feel it all around me. Like in Twilight Princess, when Rusl says, "There's a strange feeling you get when twilight falls; they say it's the only time when our world intersects with theirs." I'd like to believe that perhaps there is a world of dark weather and wind and rain that we can only feel when this weather is reflected in our world. Perhaps that is why I always include an alternate world in all the stories I write. I sometimes try to think of some plot that involves something otherwise, but I can't help it. It seems that the idea of a flipside world is too appealing to me. Zelda said, "Light and shadow are like two sides of the same coin, one cannot be without the other." The idea of this duality is what intrigues me. I guess someday I should write a Wittlin-esque story that can involve all of these themes. Apparently, books with themes are the really good ones, and it's not that hard to simply follow that formula. I think in Stephen King's book, "On Writing," he said that there is a story in you, you only have to excavate it. Once you've done that, you'll look back and notice all these little symbols and themes that have become important throughout the writing of the story. You can then go back and elaborate on them, making them even more significant, and then even making them the basis of the story, even thought they were not the original intention. I suppose this method is even better, since I used to write entire stories based on a single image or line of dialogue that I had in my head. This theory gives me hope that I may one day actually write something.

Zelda Music - Saria's Song

Who knows what it is about Zelda music that makes it so amazing. Maybe... I should say it is the music that makes each area in the game so memorable and beautiful. I mean, what would Hyrule Field be, in all its 64-bit polygonal glory, without the exciting, courage-inducing theme music? That shit makes me want to pull a sword out of nowhere and start slashing at anything that moves.

Besides, every song has some kind of emotion attached to it, from the first time you played that ol' gem Ocarina of Time.

Remember when you left Saria behind to save the world? Feel that tear running down your cheek? That's why you'll never forget "Lost Woods" or "Saria's Song". Saria loved that forest, man. She sacrified her entire life to protect it as its sage. She could speak to the spirits that lived in it, and she loved you so much she wanted to share it with you, and only you. Remember how you felt when you returned to that spot seven years later, that spot where you used to play ocarinas together and just laugh and smile and be happy? Yeah, she was gone, and that hurt. If you called to her through her song, she would say, "Link, something's wrong with the forest, help me!" And you would wish with all your heart that you could save her, but you had no idea where she was. Your only clue was that mysterious Sheik fellow, and he wouldn't give you any answers, only meddling philosophical quips.

Accompanied with the fact that this song plays endlessly as you try to find your way through the Lost Woods, this song brings feelings of frustration and yearning, but also a carefree, childish attitude. Remembering the happy days of your youth... with the girl you loved... but knowing you cannot go back to it.

So cheerful, yet so many sad undertones.

Sigh. I love this stuff way too much. This must make me sound like a freak. This just shows how powerful this game is when I think I almost feel like I'm in love with Saria...

Blah.

Sometimes it bothers me how much hate can be held in this little girl's body. It's almost frightening how it can build up to such great measures that it makes me shudder with anger. There's not even a good reason for it. It's just there. Milling away at itself, making the world worse and worse. It's not constructive, it's not uplifting... it's just there. It is good for a few laughs, but what else. I think most people don't have so much hate and are so accepting of others because they mostly just completely ignore what everyone does. Or even if they do notice, they must not really think about it, because there are so many little infuriating things in the world.

Let's not call me a pessimist. I don't feel like Marvin, the Paranoid Android. I used to be that way in the sixth grade, but that's all behind me now. I guess nitpicking at human nature is just a hobby. It doesn't really make life unpleasant, and it does entertain me. It's not even a means of making me feel better about myself, as someone has claimed before. I know myself, and I know what I think, down to the deepest, darkest corner. There is nothing about myself you can reveal to me. Thank you.

Anyways, I guess I just find it fun. Maybe I should become a psychologist. But school is difficult... especially in the sciences... I wish we didn't have to choose. I wish we didn't have to think about it now.

-sigh-

Writer

I've always wanted to be a writer. I've never had the talent, the motivation, or the patience to do it, but I've wanted to do it nevertheless. All those people who are famous writers, you hear them talking about how obsessed they've always been about writing, and wrote like a hundred million stories when they were younger. Well, I've written one thing that I actually consider a "story". It's about 42 pages on Microsoft Word, size 12. I wrote that two years ago. Nothing as inspired as that as ever cropped up again. I spent three days straight writing that thing. I ignored everything, not just school, but also chicken wings. It must be a good story, because it took all my heart and soul to write it.

Well, now that I look back at it, it doesn't seem too great, but it does seem genuine, which is important. That's my theory on how Stephenie Meyer sold her books. They're mostly total crap, but she was really into it, which gives it a slight appeal.

But enough about that.

I'm trying to write another story. It's not raw, it's not inspired, it's carefully calculated and has been forcefully excavated out of my body. Let's see what happens.

Submission to Young Voices

Here is the short prose I submitted for Young Voices '11. I have been published in '09 and '10, so I really hope I get in again! Really, it's almost like a poem...
Sadly, this is adapted from an actual stream of my consciousness.

Empty

How I love to:
Give in
I love to give in to the nothingness, and I love blaming it on the beating of my heart. I could have stopped. It would’ve been so easy, yet I thought: “This is easier. Can’t I please just continue what I’m doing?” And I answered, “Fine.”
Shake your head, it’s empty
I don’t think it’s normal to think this way. My head is empty, an open treasure chest. What was once full of a million wonderful things is now air and forgotten dreams. Is this the curse of being lazy? I feel burdened with so many curses lately.
Shake your hips, move your feet
I have no idea who I am, or what that term even means. I don’t know where I’m going, or what’s even possible. I want to do something romantic, like become a hobo and jump on trains, or get into drug dealing, or be a waitress at an erotic bar. I want to live in the mountains of Switzerland and have a goat, and maybe some chickens.
Shake your head, it’s empty
I have no grasp of reality anymore. Whatever I see, I perceive it in such a way that I have to ask myself why I perceived it that way, then not even bother to answer myself. This has become a life of drudgery; something that has to be waited out. Life’s not meant to be this way, I don’t think.
Shake your head, it’s empty
I ruin everything so quickly, and with such indifference. I am full of so many tiny regrets; so many things that should be thrown away. I don’t have what this mind needs to function.
I’m so glad that I’m an island
Sometimes you have something that can hold your entire world, but that’s not always a good thing. Becoming an island was the best thing I ever did.
I’m so glad that I’m an island now
But am I only fooling myself? Here I am, feeling empty once more, trying to blame it on the tinkering of my mind rather than the beating of my heart this time. Maybe this island is only an illusion. Someday, I’ll sail to a real island, with trees and sand that I can touch and feel.
Ba ba da da
What happened to the gold that spilled from my treasure chest? I’m supposing that it landed at the bottom of an ocean, somewhere off the coast of Maine. I’ll go back for it someday in the near future. If only someone could make a map for me…
Sickness was fixing me some
I’ve been terribly ill for the past six or seven years. Keeled over in pain, I would be curled at the edge of my bed. Tears falling in vain, staining my thoughts.
Coughed up my heart in the last stall
I tore up my insides that day. I ripped them to pieces. The entirety of my being came up with the contents of my stomach. I put myself through an agony. For what? For no reason I can see now. I feel neither contempt nor regret for my decisions anymore.
Now that the damage is done
I feel empty. The damage has been done. I think I felt empty all through that ‘paradise’. It was just hidden under a pile of events and illusions. But now that it’s gone…
I never miss it at all

[Inspired by “Empty” by Metric]

South Park (And Other Things)

South Park. I just bought this very poster today, and it is now on the wall beside my head.

South Park is amazing. It almost always makes a valid point about the world, while being hilarious along the way. "No kitteh, this is mah pot pie! NO KITTEH THAS A BAD KITTEH!!"

Oh, how I love you. I love how the kids are all smart, and the adults are so stupid and oblivious to the obvious. Which is, when you think about it, really how the world is. Adults always say, "Kids these days think they know everything". They think that way because they do know everything. Everyone knows what is real and what isn't when they are five years old. That is when we know who is who and what is what. We focus on the little things, the little problems, but also the little pleasures. Food is made so much more amazing when it is placed in order of length on your plate. A few flashing colours are enough to captivate you for hours. Life is usually wonderful, no matter the circumstances. You can always find something wonderful somewhere, whether it be a snail, or even a shred of paper. No matter how small, it can fascinate you for hours on end.

Kids know everything because they are watching a world that they are not yet immersed in. Most forget everything they know when they grow up. They are taught that what they knew is wrong, and they are taught a new set of rules that are needed to survive in the world. For better or for worse? I don't know.

Should I study for my math exam tomorrow, a class in which I'm only getting a 68?
Nah, I know enough already.

The Legend of Zelda

I've always wanted to do this, and gosh darn it, it's about frickin' time I did!

The Legend of Zelda.

In all its beauty.

And awesomeness.

This game has always been more than a game. It has been a work of art, for Pete's sake. There has never been a time when there hasn't been a small section of brain reserved for it, tinkering away at all of its amazing little details. I thought about writing an essay about it - since that's all I've been doing lately at school - but then I would have to focus on a few small details. I need to talk about it as a whole. I need to talk about Zelda. There is no one in the world to listen to my ramblings, so this is the time.

I must post in sections, or I will undoubtedly get way too carried away.

I have to think about it first.

Top 25

Damn straight it's time for a new top 25 post!!
WOOT!
Hopefully today, instead of just listing them, I will actually like, write something about them. Hopefully. My goodness, it's nearly identical to my last one.

1. Migi Kata ni Choucho - Vocaloid
2. Combat Baby - Metric
3. Dead Disco - Metric
4. Gekokujou - Vocaloid
5. Ievan Polkka - Vocaloid
6. Gimme Sympathy - Metric
7. Wet Blanket - Metric
8. Help, I'm Alive - Metric
9. Empty - Metric
10. Zutto Teto no Turn - Vocaloid
11. Meruto - Vocaloid
12. Po-Pi-Po - Vocaloid
13. UNDO - Fullmetal Alchemist
14. Raw Sugar - Metric
15. Twilight Galaxy - Metric
16. Gold Guns Girls - Metric
17. Monster Hospital - Metric
18. The Twist - Metric
19. The Police and the Private - Metric
20. Hitobashira Arisu - Vocaloid
21. Kurutte, Odotte - Vocaloid
22. Dschinghis Khan - Dschinghis Khan
23. Sick Muse - Metric
24. Satellite Mind - Metric
25. IOU - Metric

Oh wow. I haven't even listened to these songs in forever. I guess I just listened to them so much before that I can't possibly top the numbers anymore. Metric, Vocaloid, Metric, Vocaloid. Sheesh. Maybe I should make a separate post about specific songs I like. There are way more besides these two bands and Dschinghis Khan!! Oh well, they're still fabulous.

Retarded Movie I Watched... Regrettably

Race to Witch Mountain.

This was especially sad because I couldn't even manage to keep my eyes on the screen. I received several punches for almost falling asleep. With boring visuals and overall retardedness... I couldn't stand it. I thought about my boyfriend the entire time and occaisionally paid attention to remember a particularly cheesey line. Blaaaaaaaaaargh. It was like the worst thing ever. Just random face shots of people and stupid car chases that didn't make sense. And the stupidest part was that the aliens had super powers but they needed protection from like... mini-vans or something. If that guy could have a friggin' car explode in his face, I'm sure he could walk five miles to the spaceship and punch out the wall, walk in and take it. AH. It made my eyes bleed with fury. So boring. And also there was not one single part that was remotely funny. Just random cheesey stuff that was copy and pasted from every other cheesey movie ever written.

More Song Fun!!!

MORE TOP 25

1. Migi Kata Ni Choucho -- Vocaloid
2. Gekokujo -- Vocaloid
3. Combat Baby -- Metric
4. Ievan Polkka -- Vocaloid
5. Gimme Sympathy -- Metric
6. Wet Blanket -- Metric
7. UNDO --Fullmetal Alchemist
8. Meruto -- Vocaloid
9. Po Pi Po -- Vocaloid (video)
10. Dead Disco -- Metric
11. Help, I'm Alive --Metric
12. Kurutte, Odotte --Vocaloid
13. Hitobashira Arisu --Vocaloid
14. Po Pi Po --Vocaloid
15. Twilight Galaxy --Metric
16. Gekokujo --NicoNico
17. Raw Sugar --Metric
18. Empty --Metric
19. Caramelldansen
20. Kuraimori Saakasu --Vocaloid
21. Ganbaransu de Dansu --Vocaloid
22. Joka --Vocaloid
23. Gold Guns Girls --Metric
24. The Twist --Metric
25. Succexy --Metric

WOOOO.

My Neighbour Totoro

My Neighbour Totoro

Hayao Miyazaki

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Concept: Two little girls, Mei and Sasuki, with their mother and father, move to the country. Their father works at a far off university, and their mother is sick at the hospital. They explore the country and play with the forest spirits, the "totoros".
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Mei: "There was a small one, a big one, and a really HUUUGE one!"

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Imag.ery: The loveliest scenes are when Totoro helps them make their acorns grow, and when they sit on a branch on top of the giant tree to play totoro flutes. The cat bus (neko basu) is cool too. It's huge, gaping mouth, it's eyes shining for headlights, it's many legs, and the fact that it is the wind, makes it the perfect friend for a giant totoro. (it reminds me of the Cheshire Cat!) The scene where Mei and Sasuki are waiting at the bus stop for their dad is probably the best scene in the whole movie. When Totoro just appears next to her, a leaf on his head, water dripping onto his nose, you fall into a state of 'oh my God this is too awesome'.

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Acting/Voices: Well, I can't say much about the Japanese voices, though I have watched it in Japanese. It's too cute that Dakota Fanning and her little sister play the girls. My chu has an older version (I guess they made a new version when I bought it) and the voices on mine are better. (^.^) They sound so cute and innocent! One of the greatest things about Miyazaki movies is that the characters always act like such real little girls. The way Mei follows Sasuki around the house, copying her, and wantinig to be like her, is a perfect example. And I love how Totoro just says "GRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWR"
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Overall: Totoro is so awesome. If I saw any merchandise based on him anywhere, I would buy it right away, no questions asked. 8.6/10

PLAN

My plan is to write a post on everything on my interests list... EVERYTHING. So I have a project now. Hooray!

Music

I would looove to list every song I've ever liked, but I currently have 41 hours of music on my ipod, so, yeah, no (this is something I enjoy...weird?). Even listing just the artists would take forever... so I guess today I get to list my top played 25! My computer crashed, so I haven't had much time to get the numbers back up to their original awesome status. So my top played song only has 24 plays. Oh well...

Whoa. I just looked at the list, and it's not very reflective of my overall tastes. This is just the music I'm craving these days:

1. Doko Kara Kimashita ka? (Where are you from?) - from GenkiJapan.net (24)
2. Ievan Polkka - Vocaloid (23)
3. Dark Woods Circus - Vocaloid (17)
4. UNDO - Fullmetal Alchemist (16)
5. Hitobashira Alice - Vocaloid (15)
6. Halloween Town (jp) - Danny Elfman (14)
7. Ganbalance de Dance - Vocaloid (14)
8. Caramelldansen (14)
9. Kidnap the Sandy Claws (jp) - Danny Elfman (13)
10. Ugi Bugi no Songu - Danny Elfman (13)
11. Kanashii Jaku - Danny Elfman (12)
12. Nanda? - Danny Elfman (10)
13. I Am the Radiskull - Joe Sparks (10) DONT ASK WHY.
14. Kurutto, Odotte - Vocaloid (10)
15. I Won't Say I'm In Love (jp) - Hercules (10)
16. Flute...? (10)
17. Servant of Evil - Vocaloid (9)
18. De Zero en Hero - Hercules (9)
19. Cooking is So Fun - Azumanga Daioh (9)
20. Itenaru (Eternal) - Chobits (8)
21. Chanson de Oogie Boogie - Danny Elfman (8)
22. Gimme Sympathy - Metric (8)
23. Kesenai Tsumi - Nana Kitade (Fullmetal Alchemist) (7)
24. Itsumo - Ritsuko Ozaki (Fruits Basket) (7)
25. Bokusatsu Tenshi Dokuro-Chan (7)

lol...

Awesome Movie:

The Nightmare Before Christmas
Tim Burton





This movie is perfect.



I dare anyone to say otherwise.








Concept: First of all, the title is an awesome pun playing on the poem The Night Before Christmas, so hahahaha. It's all about Jack, the Pumpkin King. It seems like he has everything, but Halloween has become boring for him, and he feels he needs something more from life. If I had to write an essay about this, I would be writing, "the protagonist is experiencing a common feeling, that there is something missing in their lives, and that nothing will ever change. What seems like everything to some is nothing to others."


It's awesome how Jack does all these things wrong, yet the whole time he thinks he's doing something wonderful. In the end he realized that what he was doing was kind of crazy, and that what he had was good enough. Really, I think he just needed Sally. And after all his guilt, he gets up and says, "Well, what the heck! I went and did my best! And for a moment I really tasted something swell!" It just gives a whole nother feeling of awesomeness.



Imagery: The scene with the curly plant in front of the full moon, Jack standing on it singing his woes to the night sky... Beautiful. It's even better when you think how, at the beginning, he sings there about how he feels empty, then at the end he sings there with Sally about how awesome they are together. So it feels like a perfect, complete conclusion. The entire town itself is fun to imagine that you're living in it. All the characters are fantastic, and create a dark, but not scary, atmosphere.



Music: Holy awesomeness. I suppose this is considered a musical, so for me, this rivals with The Sound of Music.

Songs:

This is Halloween
Jack's Lament
What's This?
Town Meeting
Jack's Obsession
Sally's Song
Kidnap the Sandy Claws
Oogie Boogie's Song
Making Christmas
Poor Jack
+at the end they sing a bit of Sally's Song with different words

Each song is equally fantastic, is perfectly placed within the plot, and there isn't too little or too much time between songs. The lyrics are great, some sad, some fun, some strange. Each one gives a new feeling, till the end where you explode from the awesomeness. I enjoy these songs in French and Japanese as well, and it's fun to try and sing along. I love in how in French, they come up with their own puns. Like "Sandy Claws" for example, showing how Jack misunderstands almost everything in Christmas Town. In French, they say "Perce-Oreilles", meaning "ear-wig", as a play on the French word for "Santa Claus", "Pere Noel". They don't even bother in Japanese - but Jack's voice is so cute! I love What's This? in French, and Oogie Boogie's Song in Japanese.



Acting/Voices: ! I just found out that Greg Proops does the voice for the Harlequin Demon. Okay, it only has like five lines, but he is really cool.

Danny Elfman sings really good. I didn't know he did that. He also does the voice for that crazy jazz skeleton in The Corpse Bride. He has the perfect amount of expression in the songs! It's neat cause most of the time he barely sings the tune at all, but you can still hum the song.

Sally's voice (Catherine O'Hara) is too soft - well I suppose it suits her personality, since she is shy and sweet. That part is good, but her singing is so high-pitched (I guess this only bothers me since it makes it harder for me to sing along). Alright, alright, I know she's awesome too.

There's almost nothing cheesey about this movie, despite all the many puns. The voices all sound great and natural, and fit well with the monsters they portray.

Overall: This movie is just so good. It gets a perfect 10 in my book. Beautiful = Everything.

Another Awesome Kid's Book:

WHAT?

cried Granny

I don't own this book (frown) but it's been at my grandpa's house for ages. Whenever we went there for the night, I begged my mum to read it to me and Lucas.

Awesome in so many ways.

1. It was one of those stories, like that series with the moose and the muffin and whatever. The boy would be like, "Granny I need a pillow." And she'd go pluck all of these chickens and run back to him. Then he'd be like, "Well, I have a pillow, but now I need a bed to put it on." And I find this fun.

2. The drawings are really creepy. Look at them.

3. Every time the word "WHAT?" was sprawled across the page in huge, blocky, capitalized letters, we would all scream it out, in the middle of the night.

4. Then there was that page where the kid was watching TV, and his head was on his body backwards. That was scary.

(Tried to find a picture of that, lol, but couldn't.) I'll get it from their house someday...